dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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