I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
