like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
