trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
