Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I think my nap took me to another dimension
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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