So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i already hear my dad disowning me
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
