I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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