i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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