idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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