You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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