did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
