I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
And then he peed in my hair
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