He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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