I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Randomize
