btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I queefed so loud it echoed.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
