i just had sex bonerless
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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