I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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