grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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