i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
we're chasing vodka with high fives
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize