Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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