It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
