Kareoke will never be a sober sport
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
