We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
