Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
