I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Someone came in the potted fern
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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