I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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