i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
