she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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