A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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