I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
