I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
