I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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