Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
