I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize