no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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