One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
