take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
