Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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