i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
