Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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