how can u be prego again
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
