i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
