Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
