guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
