the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I just googled if crying burns calories
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
