People in love make me want to vomit
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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