Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
