I'm really into asian looking animals
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
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