my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Randomize
