Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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