You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
