I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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