Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
