butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
