It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
