Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
