I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
