problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
