If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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