I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
