and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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