6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
operation harelip BJ is a go
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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