So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I have demons in me.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
