dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
